SCHAUMBURG, IL – Continuing a nearly two-decades long quest to explain the origin of life on Earth, evolutionary biologist Mark Lindenberg is searching for clues in his ex-girlfriend’s email inbox, sources reported Wednesday. Recently dumped after a 10-month relationship, Lindenberg reportedly resumed his scientific expedition late Saturday night. “Favorite pet? That’s your secret question? Jesus, Tammy,” Lindenberg muttered to himself while typing. “You’re such a blond.” The widely-published, 44-year old biologist began Saturday’s scientific process by consuming 1.5 bottles of Pinot Noir and deleting his ex-girlfriend’s comments from his Facebook wall. “Lemme see now – what do we got here,” Lindenberg slurred while studying the screen. “Lotta stuff from Winston McAuliffe. What the hell kinda name is ‘Winston’ anyway?”  The Nobel Prize runner-up and University of Chicago faculty member reportedly completed his search for clues pertaining to the origin of life at approximately 2:38 AM, when he passed out while providing several pornographic websites with his ex-girlfriend’s email address.