VATICAN CITY – Responding to criticism about the handling of sexual assault cases newly uncovered in Catholic churches across the globe, the Vatican said the evasive, anti-Semetic, dismissive, and odious comments certain clergy made over the weekend were “taken out of context.” Comparing the vocal criticism the church has lately been receiving to the widespread slaughter of Jews during the second World War, Rev. Raniero Cantalamessa later said his comments “were taken out of the context of a larger argument [wherein pedophiles - and not their young victims - were portrayed as a persecuted population].” Retired Italian bishop Giacomi Babini also clarified earlier statements – where he called criticism of the church a “Zionist attack” – by saying his presentation of a Jewish-led contingency aimed at disenfranchising a religious power structure historically riddled with cases of sexual assault and rape, complicity in said acts, and extensive conspiracy to hide evidence and harbor pedophiles was “meant to be ironic.”