CHICAGO, IL – A twenty-year study published by the University of Chicago on Wednesday reveals a surprising link between exposure to classical music in infancy and erectile dysfunction in later life. “It would appear the rising trend in parents playing classical music for their baby or toddler has directly led to rising cases of erectile dysfunction,” said behavioral psychologist Martin Showalter. “The sale of drugs used to treat ED, like Viagra and Cialis, has spiked 900% in the last twelve years. We always knew there had to be a culprit – I guess listening to Mozart or Beethoven before the age of three is the smoking gun.” The study is the second published this year linking a particularly hands-on parenting style to sexual dysfunction in middle age. “The results of this study surprise me even more than the last, where we found a link between kids who are dropped off at school every day and overt klismaphilia in later life.”