NEW YORK, NY – Financial woes increased today on the stock exchange as the markets plunged to numbers not seen in nearly ten minutes. The news came after renewed fears were aired by current Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Ben Bernanke. “It would appear that the nation’s economy will not recover as quickly as first thought,” Bernanke stated in a press release. “But we are hopeful about what the next half-hour will bring.” The statement sent investors scrambling, leading to a short-lived selling frenzy that dropped the markets’ numbers to pre-10:45 levels. Stockbrokers were left to sort through the mess, many citing near-record losses for the day. “It’s just the ebb and flow of the exchange,” said day trader Wily Newark. “I’m just hoping it doesn’t get as bad as the great plunge of 8:29.”